My everyday wish

My last post was on july 2008! damn old! Now it's already april 2009 and i'm just finish my first frustrated month of practicum.argh! what a nightmare.Dealing with all lesson plans and pupils and not to forget, struggling in performing up to supervisor's expectations. Live up to people's expectations is something that I always fail to do so.Thats the problem.Aiyoh.. Even worst, I am more frustrated with myself, all of these bad habits and behaviors that I couldn't be bothered to change it.(last minute work, poor time management etc etc)..they're all lead to this current's failure(s) and lost. *sigh. It's never to late to change. Always pujuk myself like it's gonna happen soon.4 years of heavenly lazy-ing and u just want to change it in a day? ambitious seyhh.still working out really hard of all things around me..and yeah, still waiting for a lot more of wake-up-calls to ends all this COZ I hate to be unprepared at school.It'll make me looks fuckin stupid and hideous than other hideous creatures in da world.uhuk2.Always feels like wanna jumping off da school's sink.huhu. what to do? You've just successfully drowning yourself in your own massive mess than. aiyohh. Here I just need to cha-cha-change CHANGE!!